November 20th


The Next Day...

I finished the essay on time, but didn't sleep at all. Ok that's a slight lie since I had a thirty minute power nap at 2 a.m., but after that no sleep. It was familiar but insane. I became so frustrated with writing that I actually did some laundry at four in the morning. It was nice that no one else was there to use the washing machine, but it was still crazy. Well I felt like a champ when I entered that classroom and slapped my paper on my teacher's desk. I then prepared to do a Rocky pose and screamed, "yeah!!!!" at the top of my lungs. In reality I quietly handed my teacher my paper and slid into my desk. It was when class started that I noticed the world seemed different. Oh boy, here comes the real insanity. Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, not when it's manic laughter that causes everyone to think that you're tripping on acid. Is it bad that music doesn’t stop playing in my head? No that's normal. So is smiling, smiling is very normal. So normal that when I do it all the time no one will even noticed that I'm there. Huh, my teacher looks like a coffee bean. A coffee bean with pilgrim shoes. And my left arm has a frog on it. OMG how could I have not noticed this before? Those freckles are totally its eyes and that skin is his body. Hey there mister frog, no wait. You're not a frog...you're a bulbasaur! Only your bulb is underneath your belly. Hmmm a bulbunsaur! Ha ha the world is so funny this way. Wait, I have to stay awake until seven thirty or whenever I return home? That's nothing it i-s d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y n-o-t   s -l -o -w -i -n -g   d - o - w - n...crap. Stay awake Mary. Happy thoughts, just happy thoughts. Alexis good thing that you are so adorable. I'll read you this storybook because you are so cute. I want a nap, an eternal hibernation from this world. Finished, bus, home, shoes, bed. Why hello Blackhawks blanket, you sure look dapper today. I'm going to snuggle under you and just...close...my...zzzzz.

November 19th


Let's start with anger today! Not that starting with anger is out of the blue for me, it isn't, but let's make a point at starting with it today. Whoever keeps crashing the internet in the library is going to be strangled by yours truly with an Ethernet cable. It took me two hours to finish my presentation because the hotspot website kept going down. All I needed were some graphics, just pictures really. Two hours! Two freakin' hours!!! This is part where everyone in the library pauses for a moment before the power is cut and all hell breaks out because Mary has turned into a demon and is murdering everyone by smashing their faces into computer monitors. Kate says I have an overactive imagination. Do I? Huh, well after the two long hours of playing red light green light with the wifi I finished my lovely power point presentation. If only I had been able to actually present it! Since we had endured many absences over the past two weeks in French Civilization, many projects were not presented and were therefore delayed. Well today was when all the delayed presenters decided to show up with their power points. I was bumped to next week. I should feel happy about this, but instead I'm really ticked. Had I known this outcome I could have spent yesterday and this afternoon focused on the essay instead of the presentation! Why world why? After class I prepared for the night, the long night ahead. Have any of you pulled all-nighters before? It seems silly to do for a French essay, but when you have to finish a French novel and then compare it to two other novels all in French before nine am, the all-nighter doesn't seem so crazy. Two monsters, orange juice, full stomach, and Chelsea Dagger on loop. Yup were ready to not sleep. 

November 18th


Still sick, meh. Good thing I changed my opinion about orange juice because I am chugging the stuff for vitamin C. I made sure to wear plenty of layers before braving the outdoors. I also decided to open my windows and clear out the trash. Some fresh air definitely won't do my room any harm and is possibly the reason why I suddenly became sick. That or Karma. Personally my money is on Karma. I committed myself to plenty of research on film and making a cute little outline along with the sketch of the power point. Should be a good speech. I'm leaving the graphic bells and whistles for tomorrow, when the presentation is scheduled, since the class is at three-thirty and I have another project to work on. Ok go ahead audience, bite my head off about procrastinating. Tomorrow my presentation is due and Tuesday an essay is due. In the States this is fine; I somehow keep forgetting when I am though, which is difficult, since I never realize until the last minute that everything has to be in French. Ah, crap. The paper is a double edged sword too. Not only is it in French, but it is a comparison between three books one of which I need to finish that is due at 9 a.m. on Tuesday. This is my own fault/bad luck. I procrastinated, again. Sadly I'm good at procrastinating, which means these next two days are going to be very fun, for no one. As a good procrastinator I always finish my work, usually on time, but sacrifice a lot of necessities such as sleep and food. If only I would not procrastinate, then all of that would be avoided. Well this time it was procrastinated so I have to pay the price of the consequences. Cheers to tomorrow, it probably won't end.

November 17th


Optimism, when a bright open perspective on the world is held; however when Mary tries to be "optimistic" such as believing that her luck will change, the world dumps a big pile of unfortunate out comings onto her lap. Sigh, what did I do to earn such bad luck? I'm fairly confident that I did not break any mirrors recently. Even if I did it wouldn't matter, that one is reversible. I also did not spit on any elderly people, I didn't see any black cats, I didn't open an umbrella indoors, and I haven't walked under any ladders. What did I do? Hmmm maybe it's this blog? I do rant quite often on the blog. Perhaps all this negativity is causing my karma to be out of whack. Well regardless, more bad luck surrounded me today, on a Saturday no less. Today I was supposed to, and did anyways, work on research for my speech on cinema in France and the States, but my research was cut short due to a sudden on come of sore throat, headache, and dizziness. The runny nose would also be a symptom for any normal person who's not susceptible to the weather. Thus around six post meridian I left Les Docks to sloth in my dorm room. I still have work to do, sigh. Maybe I should invest in some clovers or burn some sage.

November 16th


Friday was Friday today. I don't know why, maybe more bad luck in the air, but I had very little life in me today. Everything seemed to rush by in a blur. Not a good perspective to have on life. But, there was a small saving grace to the smudged outlook on the day. Remember that package that I never actually received? Well if not too bad, it's in the blog so should know it. Ha, sorry for the rudeness, on with my story. Ok so that package never made it into my life and the company, My American Market, felt really bad about the whole thing. So they refunded my purchase, including the shipping fees, allowing me to reorder if I so desired. Neat. I did place another order, without TNT shipping, and it arrived yesterday at an antique shop for pickup. Neat. Today, this exact Friday, I went to that antique shop and was handed my package. Petite. Ok petite doesn't make sense but meh, Addams Family rules. I opened it as soon as I arrived in my dorm and ate some Mike and Ikes. They tasted so delicious. It looks like we will be able to have a Thanksgiving celebration in Le Havre after all. Thank you My American Market, your pumpkin pie filling will be used. Time for this lifeless, but happy, college student to play some Plants versus Zombies since the next few days are going to suck. Such a forward thinker I am.

November 15th


Hey bad luck, wouldya knock it off? I call break up! Gah, I think it worked, since the rest of my day went smoothly after ten AM. What happened before ten AM? I'm so not glad that you asked audience. Remember way back when at the time of doctor appointments for the magical French health insurance? Well those were over with, but the final meeting was this morning at 9 AM. I actually didn't show at 9 AM since I still had to print out the OFFI stamp that I had bought online on Monday. For some reason, all the printers in the library were not functioning yesterday. So, I wasn't able to print the stamp. Thus, I visited the international office at nine to have it printed. Worked fine, they didn't mind. Cool. Went to the student building, there was a huge line. Cool, I'm not late. I had everything ready to go on the check list, I quad checked it. When it was my turn I could practically hear the choir of angels singing. I was almost done with this crap! Ha, yeah right MareBear. You're never going to be done with this crap. Wanna know why? Hmmm, do I? Yes, it's because karma hates you until ten AM this morning. Damn that sucks. So you mean when the woman was looking through the files and said that she didn't have my medical record it was a bad thing? Yup. And that she blamed me for it even though I went to every appointment? Yeah. And that she told me to return on the frickin' 3rd or 6th of December since she wouldn't listen to my idea that it was possibly in my dorm in the folder that the nurses had given me? Oh my gosh, you're so right MareBear. Thanks, it's a talent. So, that's what happened before ten AM. I walked into the office and was told that my medical record wasn't there for an unknown reason only that it was most likely my fault. Plus, they spelled my name wrong. No not Scale, that was surprisingly correct, they miss-spelled Mary. France, there is a difference between Marie and Mary. I know for you they are the same name. But, I'd really appreciate it if you spelled my name correctly despite the fact that you think there is no difference. It's on my passport as Mary damnit! Phew, ok we're good. Fortunately I left with a smile, it wasn't a happy smile, but a smile is better than a frown. Actually I think I looked rather scary since I had my "angry eyes" on. I always pack them just in case, along with some play dough, a random key, and a crayon. All necessities. After ten AM was a relaxing day of fried chicken and homework in the library. Crunchy Food Chicken, a restaurant that serves deep fried chicken. Review, it was average, not bad. But they need better ketchup and some barbecue sauce on their menu. Plus don't season the chicken guys, that's what the dipping sauces are used for. Just study under Chick Filet for pointers. My homework wasn't that bad, in fact it was kinda fun. Literally it was Fun. Ha ha, anyone? Oh I'm alone on this. Well the assignment was to translate song lyrics into French. I did two translations of the popular song "We are Young" by the band known as Fun. Why did I make two? Well I wasn't sure if our professor wanted us to translate it literally and not match it to the beat, or figuratively where it rhymes correctly and fits the rhythm. Tough I know. So to be safe I did both. My figurative one is interesting, since the first part doesn't quite sync to the original lyrics. It falls behind due to the word sunglasses. In French it is les lunettes de soleil. That's seven syllables right there, aka about one line. In English it's three and in French it's seven. This why literal lyrics often don't work. Still I enjoyed this project, especially since I just listened to the song while I did it. Class itself wasn't too bad. Though, I found out the song is actually due next week. Whoops, well least it's done. As Dale Gribble would say, "shish shish shaaa!" Later bad luck you have to "sko sko sko."*

*Check out Dale highlights from King of the Hill. If you're disappointed I don't care.

November 14th


I used up all my good karma yesterday, whoops. Right from the start the day did not like me, I knew it when I saw the sunshine. On my way to the cafeteria, I don't have class until three on Wednesday, I thought that it would be a good idea to take my coat off. I mean hey, the sun is shining, it's really warm, I don't do well with hot weather; it seemed like a good idea. It was until my lunch card, which is what I use to purchase my lunch, flew out of my glove, over the railing, and onto the railroad tracks. I admit I had a moment of stupidity where I considered jumping over the railing to grab my card. Obviously I didn't, otherwise I'd be writing this with a pen from a hospital bed or be pushing up daisies. I made it to the cafeteria, late, and had to tell the woman in the little crous booth that I had lost my card. She asked where on campus and which day. I told her that I had lost it walking to school this morning. Her reply, "oh." That's the universal "well you're screwed" response. Tony, I'm not feeling greeeeat about this. I had to then fill out a card form and show her my student id only to be told that my new card wouldn't be ready til Friday. Not greeeeat yet. I sighed and slinked up the stairs into the cafeteria and paid in cash. Yeah I was THAT girl today. Damnit all. Class also took a crap on my lap, sort of. Elina and I sat in the very back, as usual. It was easier to sit there  since then you can see everything and you don't have the evil old woman who hates Anglos staring at you. That's not my teacher, my teacher is a sweetheart. No there is a mean old prune taking medieval history that loves to point out after class that the foreign students haven't absorbed the entire lecture. Oh, and she refuses to help us she just likes to jab us with observations. No crap we don't  understand the whole lecture lady. French isn't our native language and we've only been here for two months! People who claim it's not that hard are on heroin. I'd love to ship so many people off to the States, this lady deserves Mississippi, just to have a flavor of the difficulty. That's why sit in the back, to avoid all that. Well, turned out to be an awesome decision since two guys were already sitting there. Elina and I both simultaneously said, "whatever", and kept our seats. I was hoping that these two guys weren't smartasses, they weren't. They were dumbasses. Maybe twenty minutes into the two hour lecture, I received a piece of paper/a note from the French besties. It read, something along the lines of, "Do you girls want to go to Vermont state with us? I'd be cool since we're French guys." Ok, what the hell? I turned to dumbass number two and said, "Vermont? Really?" They retracted the note and left me alone after that. But seriously let's think about this, out of all the States in America why Vermont? I know it has ski resorts during the winter, but during the rest of the year it's pretty plain. The rest of class was weird since dumbass number one and two kept whispering and shuffling pieces of paper between each other. Girls back home, I hate to disappoint but all men are the same worldwide; they're some kind of ass. 

November 13th


Lucky thirteen, well it's lucky for me. Actually is, dunno why. Oh you see that audience, I used dunno instead of don't know oh my gosh! That officially makes this blog unofficial. Nanner nanner Danny Tanner. Yeah I have no idea why Full House was just mentioned, moving on. Right after this, "How Rude!" Ok seriously done with the cultural references. Ahem, so Tuesday was normal then awesome. Class for three hours, though I do wish I could change that. My attention span in the States is about twenty-four minutes before I start to slip in my own universe of thought. In France, aka in French, it is about twelve minutes. This makes taking notes, more so reading the unreadable chalkboard, very difficult. But, I have found a solution to it all. No not liquid poison or energy drinks. Although I do use that when I need to wake up for something. Anyhow for class I simply just slap myself in the face. Not viciously, that would cause a scene, but lightly just to wake myself. I often do this during speeches since French students tend to perform their speeches in monotone. Super happy fun time! Obviously class was not the awesome part of my day, it was the normal part. No, rather the awesome part was when I tutored my little French chillins after class was out/when I was done using Rikki at the library. On a regular Tuesday I don't bring Rikki with me since my laptop is rather heavy and the walk to the Racadot residence is an uphill hike for me. But today was different, mostly because I was behind in my work and had to order a stamp for the French insurance online. I also ran into Toine, though not quite. In fact Rikki ran into him, while he was sleeping. Such a hypocrite. He had given me crap last week for sleeping on my laptop in library in-between classes. "If you're tired go home." If home were closer and had a wicked soft mattress maybe I would, but neither of those things exist in reality. Besides, Rikki's keyboard is so cozy and warm. How can anyone resist sleeping on it? Today though I found him in the library asleep on his computer. Hypocrite. So I did the only thing possible, I woke him up by jabbing him with Rikki. Ha, he sure looked shocked. Oh well, it was for his own good. I'm pretty sure he has classes in the afternoon, all the French students seem to have morning-night schedules, so most likely I assisted with him going to class on time. And that's the gospel truth. Why is it whenever I say the word gospel my throat is scorched? Kinda similar to how I whenever I touch a cross my skin becomes charred. So strange. I remember John Proctor once saying to me, "All liars go to hell Mary," but I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. May his bewitched soul rest in peace. Wow, that became off-topic. Moving onto the awesome part of my day. Remember it wasn't bugging Toine, it was my lil' French chillin. Alexis, the five now turned six year old, is the most adorable kid on the planet. I swear he's like a little doll. Every time I show up he runs to door to say, with a huge smile, "Hello!" Just precious. This lesson with Louis and Anne went very smoothly. I helped Anne with formulating sentences using "although" "in spite of" "because of" and "because". We also worked on "whose" which is always a fun one. She's picking it up rather well, though her pronunciation could use some work. The lesson ended and I did not leave, not right away. This was the night Mme Racadot invited me to dinner. Ok, I'm a college student living in a dorm that only has two burners as a means of cooking. Home cooked meals equal heaven to me. Doesn't hurt that Mme Racadot is a fantastic cook. This meal included a favorite dish of mine, quiche. This was real French quiche too. I was a bit worried at first when she said it was a Normandy specialty, they like their goat cheese, but there was no trace of the stuff in this ham and cheese quiche. Reverse Catholic blessing. I had to control myself since my appetite can be rather large for my size. I was the one who finished the pumpkin soup, yummers, and had two slices of the quiche, and ate the rest of the salad, and helped demolish the remaining fruit from the fruit salad. I would have finished the quiche, I easily had room, but I didn't want to seem too pig-like. Heh, I only eat like a starved wolf around certain types of people; my friends, my family, and boys I have possible affections for. Yeah I'm not a petty eater when I'm taken out, if I'm not touching my plate it's because I don't like it, and despite traditional norms of girls being coquette with their meals, I have received many adorations for actually cleaning my plate. They also like it when I order food  that isn't a salad. That's right tomboys, men like it when you do in fact eat what you ordered. Damn off track again. The dinner, besides the amazing spread, was a lot of fun as well. They spoke to me completely in French which was great practice. In truth, when I tutor the kids I have to speak in French since they're shy about their English. I feel so happy that I'm able to experience having a meal with a genuine French family. That was definitely the awesome part of my lucky thirteen day.

November 12th


Mondays are so lame. Least this one wasn't too lame, in fact I was the lame one. But, as always, it's not my fault. Here's a little secret about the beds in St. Nicolas, they suck. I mean are comparable to cardboard cut outs of beds. My back, front, sides, and the rest of me don't like to sleep on cardboard. In fact, I rather despise it. As of late I'm been having more problems than usual with sleep. I've tried to move my pillows around for more back support, but since I move a lot in my sleep the pillows are essentially useless. Last night it wasn't just my cardboard bed giving me back pain though. Last night was filled with nightmares, one repeating nightmare to be specific, that kept me from sleeping peacefully. Do you want to know what it was? I'm sure you don't, but I'm going to tell you anyways. Congratulations audience, you're about to have a behind the scenes look into the mind of Mary. Please keep your hands and feet inside the tour bus at all times and please, no flash photography. We wouldn't want to aggravate the beasts that live within my imagination now would we? The dream begins with me walking down a plain empty corridor. There's nothing special about it; tiled floors, fluorescent lights, and the occasional over-sized potted plant. Perfectly simple and business like. Then I stop walking and stand for a moment. The white walls of the hallway begin to melt around me. I look down and see the tiles falling into a thick black liquid. I turn to run, but the tiles beneath me disappear and I plunge backwards into the black liquid. At first it feels like water crashing around me. However, I then realized that it's not water but rather scales slithering over me. Pythons to be precise, huge terrifying pythons. I want to scream but can't. I cannot scream because my chest is being crushed by the snakes. Then my throat starts to tighten. I close my eyes, and BAMN! I wake up gasping for breath. I chugged so much water after that dream, it was that disturbing to me. Best part is I kept having that dream over and over throughout the night. Thus why it was no surprise that I finally "woke up" around noon-ish/one-ish. The price for an active imagination isn't pleasant; the nightmares definitely keep you scared. Anyways the reason I was lame is because I let the morning slip away from me, darn. Oh well. I have class at three-thirty so no big deal. Class was 2/3 interesting 1/3 boring because there were three speeches. The two interesting speeches were done by my German friend Natalie and a Chinese exchange student. Natalie discussed champagne and even had some media clips thrown in for pizzazz. The Chinese student discussed the differences between French and Chinese cuisine, down to the chopsticks verses forks. The second of the two made me hungry, she included photos, because who doesn't love Chinese food? Boring people, maybe. The uninteresting/boring speech was done by our Russian exchange student. It was a drag for two reasons; firstly her topic was French economics, and secondly she made the power point that morning. Oh doll, you need to prepare more. Take it from a professional procrastinator, the night before is the time to do the last minute projects never the day of. Oh well, I think M. Martel enjoyed all three of them, and hey we were let out of class early. I won't say it was a great day, rather it was a grey day. 

November 11th


Waking up at noon is so niiiiiiiice. I wish I could do that every day for the rest of my life. Wake up at noon and take two hours to become ready. Sounds fantastic, something out of a fairytale though. Still, on Sundays I am able to live in my fairytale of taking my time and not worrying about the passing minutes. The two lovely hours of eating lunch, organizing my weekly agenda, showering with new body wash, trying a new hair parting style, and just relaxing while I sipped some orange juice was all humbling. After my preparation was complete, I made my way to the docks for some facebook chat and skype time. This afternoon held a pleasant surprise, Brian was online. Brian, or Bri-Bear or Noey or Freshie, is a very close best friend of mine. I've known him since Junior year of high school and have always been in sync with him. He's like my little brother, except ginger. Anyhow, he was online today! I hadn't spoken to him for a few weeks due to the time difference and our own schedule differences. In fact, we actually started video chatting on Skype. Funny thing about that, the whole conversation was started because I wanted to flip Brian off, in a good way. I suppose there is no go "good way" to show the middle finger, but between friends it can be taken in the light hearted sense of comradery. Brian and I mostly talked about video games, no suppose there, but France and Nebraska were mentioned from time to time. I also spoke with my darling little Suzanne and Tim, aka Timmy, on facebook chat. It was so refreshing to see Brian's face, read Suzy's thoughts, and laugh at Tim's jokes. I love my friends here and I do enjoy France, but that doesn't stop me from missing my home. I'd like to say that I only spent an hour or two at the docks online with my friends across the Atlantic, but then I'd be lying to you audience. No, I spent around five hours with them, mostly Brian, and am proud of it. I work relatively hard here and a small break like that is not extravagant. Once it the docks started to shut down, I closed my chat rooms and piled a million goodbyes onto my three friends. I really do miss them, and more. Kate and I returned to the dorm, shortly joined by Paula, to watch the film "Memoires of a Geisha." I had seen the movie before when I was a junior in high school, sophomore year Miss Bruce played a scene as an example of light usage on a stage which introduced the film to me, but was more than happy to see it again. What a great movie. I love the scenery, more than the actual story. The acting isn't bad, not amazing but the use of costumes, scenery, and props just sells the film. My favorite character is actually an antagonist, H-something. I didn't really connect with the blue-eyed narrator so I turned my attention to a villainess. She is mean! I love her though, just because she is who she is. I completely believe that her jealousy and temper are nature and not an act. That's how acting should be. That women did a fantastic job, she was the best actress of the cast in my opinion, and should be cast in more films. Alright, I'm tired and have classes tomorrow. On that note, time to use Rikki as a pillow and my desk as bed.

November 10th


Saturdays! Thank you for being Saturday. And yet, damnit all! I have so much research to do today. Of course it is all my fault since I procrastinated until this weekend to do my work that is due next week. Seven bucks says I stop researching before twenty minutes has past. Ha, now all of you owe me seven bucks, preferably euros. I stopped researching after seventeen minutes. My attention span is incredible. Well sucks to be me I suppose. Good thing that poison (monster) and pain au chocolat (pain au chocolat) exist in the world. They make the perfect combo snack for the docks. Not for research, obviously. No they are perfect for the days of facebook and youtube and napping on my keyboard. Crap! Not again!!! Why I do keep falling asleep on Rikki? Oh, that would because my bed sucks and Rikki's keyboard in nice and warm. So snuggly.  nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Meh, huh? Crap, face-typed again. Ahem, after sleeping on my electronic pillow and softening my brain with youtube, I returned to the dorm in order to become ready for a party. Yes, haven't gone to one of those in a long time! The party was at the containers or the Brazilian quarters. They aren't all Brazilian, just most of them are. The party was alright, not especially lame not especially cool. Oh c'mon, don't give me that look audience. In order for a party to be cool it has to achieve certain goals. Since I am such a kind person I will list them for you.
            1. Music (that doesn't suck like K-mart)
            2. Well dressed girls (lots of queens)
            3. Attractive men who are quiet yet brilliant (Raymond)
            4. Organized snack area (maple syrup on the table)
            5. Attractive men who smell good (Charlie)
At this party only two of those five requirements were met, thus the party was not cool. It wasn't completely lame either, two goals were met, but when there are no attractive guys it might as well be an ice scream social at parent night. The snack area was also not organized/none existent. The after party was decent though, I had a lot of fun. My friends, minus Paula and Kate, and I went to the club. Coyote club to be exact. Wanna know what happened there? Mary danced for hours and it was awesome! I only danced with my friends and just enjoyed myself. I had some offers from random French boys, but I wanted to pass the night away with my friends. Those boys, they were rejected, Chicago style. I don't know what that means actually, probably bluntly? Cause I just told them "no" while smiling like a jackass. Ah I love me. Sometimes it's good to just have a night with wholesome fun such as dancing with your friends. Around two Lucas, a foreign student who lives in my dorm, and I walked back to the residence. Remember ladies, always have an escort home, never journey alone. Although I fall asleep on my keyboard frequently, it does not disable me from having a good time.
P.S. Rain Man is awesome.

November 9th


What do you have when you combine some converse sneakers, flare jeans, and a university of Iowa hoodie? A really American looking Mary. This was a day of not caring, and I mean not caring at all. It was Friday and I wanted to be a sloth. Big baggy sweatshirts are perfect sloth attire, especially with the hood up. I basically drifted through the morning, I barely remember American Cultures. At the library I was supposed to write some pages of a chapter and edit blogs; I did neither. Actually I became so relaxed that I fell asleep on my keyboard. It was a bit embarrassing, not because I was sleeping in public but rather because of how I wake up. When I fall asleep in a lighted area usually a noise wakes me up at I have a comical reaction. Sometimes it is as minor as the pitch change on a song that is playing or the sound of a door being locked. I don't know what it was this time, probably a backpack zipper or something, but I woke up like a meekat. I jolted upright, looked around quickly, and slipped back behind my laptop screen. Heh, Mary the meerkat. I would have probably drifted through Middle Ages Literature, except a rather exciting event occurred. Today's class was special because it was when our essays on Lancelot becoming a hero were given back to us. I had my fingers crossed that I would receive a passing grade, that's all. In fact I did pass, which is pretty awesome. My teacher graded my paper on the same level as the French students. My only issue which she said was "pas grave" was my grammar. No crap. I'm not fluent. Worked for me though, passing equals a credit. But, my very relaxed and accepting viewpoint is not adopted by everyone. Primarily a girl in my class. Apparently she received an eleven or a twelve on the paper. That sounds low, but it's on the French grading system. An eleven and a twelve are passing grades, just passing not super special but still not fails. Everything is graded out of twenty in France and has nothing to do with percentages. What I mean by that is there is no 90% = A, 80% = B, and so on. It is 18-20 impossible, 16-17 outstanding, 14-15 awesome, 12-13 good, 10-11 pass, 9 and below fail. Why they have it out of twenty rather than seventeen is beyond me, but that's the system. This girl did not have a good grade, in her eyes. What did she do? Well first she tried to convince herself not to cry. Second she started to cry. Third the hyperventilating commenced. Fourth she banged her desk and screamed at the professor for picking on her. Fifth she exerted so much energy that she became dizzy. Sixth Mary was snickering not because it was funny, though it was, but because Mary understood a good amount of the French shouted. And seventh, the girl was escorted out of the room by a paramedic. Yeah, medieval literature just became more thrilling. Poor girl, she's going to have to deal with that little episode forever. Take it from a girl who broke down over a low grade on a calculus project her senior year of high school causing her teacher and friends to gather around hugging her while she sank to the floor in tears. Not my best day. For me though it was alright, the grade was altered since two typos were to blame. It became a B, but I had to deal with everyone knowing that I had a mental breakdown during fourth period until graduation day. The moral of the story, freak out senior year; that way you don't have to deal with the aftermath for as long. Sadly for that French girl, this is only her second year of college.

November 8th


I made it to the post office. As GIR would say before self-destructing, "Finally!!!" I decided to go to the post on Cours de la Republique or the street that is perpendicular to my university. Good move too because both of my letters were sent. I even evaded a long queue of people too. Win-win for Mary. Afterwards was not such a win, but it wasn't my loss. No, Paula was the one who endured a very disturbing loss. While she was walking to university at ten in the morning, or something around that hour, she was stopped by two young boys. These boys were preteen aged or as we like to call them Youths. The two Youths asked Paula for the time so she took her phone out. Snatch. The little bastards nabbed her I-phone and ran away. Paula proceeded to yell at them in furious American styled English. They ran much faster. Poor Paula, although it's a phone it was a piece of her property. Having something stolen from you is a very naked or exposed feeling, violated really. All of us comforted her in our own ways. Some of our friends tried to calm her down, silly really. I encouraged her to be angry, let it all out. No use bottling energy like that. She followed my advice and the two of us decided that a good way to use energy is to go to a club. We hit Forty-One again and had bad luck there, again. This time though no one's purse was stolen on the dance floor. Oh no, this time someone maced the air. We have no idea who did it, but everyone thought that it was either me or Paula. The bouncers actually asked me to empty my pockets. They were a bit surprised to see keys and a pocket watch; sorry I'm not more terrifying. I honestly don't know who was able to smuggle mace into the club, but they probably had reason to use it. The only issue is that the club is built like a warehouse that is sealed on all sides. The problem? Well they couldn't vent the club meaning the mace cloud stayed in the room. It was impossible to breath, I actually received a large amount of the chemicals in my lungs, and therefore impossible to dance in there. Too bad, we hadn't used all of our energy up. Paula just wanted to go home which was understandable. I really do feel for my girl, life just spat bad luck all over her day. On the irritating bright side of things, at least tomorrow will be better. 

November 7th


Oh tardiness you are a little dip. If anyone recalls before fall break I checked out two DVDs from the public library. Unfortunately when I went to return them the library was closed. There wasn't a drop-box to be found so I decided that I would return them past their due date. This afternoon was when I returned them. It wasn't that bad, though the girl seemed to view me as a delinquent for being half a week late. Oh no, it's a DVD bandit here to give back our musicals and classic films five days past their due date. Someone call the police! We can't have these vicious types roaming our streets freely. Please police, police! Though I was branded a DVD hooligan my only punishment was paying one euro. I didn't have any bills or euro coins on me. Good thing I was able to muster the value of a euro, somewhat comically, by checking all my coat pockets including the interior ones. I suppose I somewhat resembled Sir Jack Dawkins at that moment; long black coat, pocket watch, handkerchief, fingerless gloves, and a smile that screams trouble. Look out Le Have the Artful Scale is out to steal your watches and hankies. After I paid my debt of one euro to the library, I exited to have the reality of ignorance slam me in the face. There to the right of the door stood the library's drop-box. Craptastic. It resembled a metal box similar to a garbage dumpster. I hate paying for my ignorance, especially when it costs me a euro. Oh well, onward with the rest of the day's errands. The remaining "to-dos" on my list involved a visit to the post office. Aw swell. Unfortunately they were never completed. Aw crap, Fagin is going to be pissed off! But honest gov’nor I tried, I really did. I went to the post near St Nicolas, the one next to the church. But they was under work you see, lots of dust an cement. They ain't openin' for weeks least. An then, then I look'd up my map 'ere an found nother one not too far. It was nearing six so I 'urried I did. I went right to the street on my map but no post. It was a lie gov’nor, pretense of the map. I suppose it moved or left. The clock rung six then, I didn't know what else to do. Fear not gov’nor no fear not, I brought us back sweets real sweeties I did. Here two brownies. Yes they be blocks of brownie gov’nor thick blocks they are. How much did 'em cost? Why only a fifty cent an a euro! That ain't much. It is to ya? Now gov’nor. Fagin, please no cane I can't bear no more. Just take the brownies! Heh, imagination is a powerful thing kiddies, it enables you to describe a story through the perspective of a Dickens character. Though to be honest I didn't do justice for Dodger's dialect, it is a tricky style to imitate. But yes, the day ended with brownies. Not bad for a DVD bandit.

November 6th


Today I was kissed. Actually I more so kissed something. Here's a hint, it wasn't a pair of male lips. No, no, I French kissed something at lunch, my meal. Normally I am not enticed by the food in the cafeteria because it is two things; cafeteria food and French food. However this lunch was different. There was the aroma of romance swirling throughout the air. It came from the right-side, where the "regular" lunches are served. It was meat, savory seductive smelling meat. I of course grabbed a plate. It was straining to keep myself from sampling before sitting down at the table, but I did so for the sake of being polite. Kate and Paula were silent as I cut and slid a section of the slab into my mouth. The flavor was delicious, but the texture was off. I tried another chunk. Yup, something isn't right here; it's too chewy for meat. I expressed this distress to which Paula and Kate confessed that my flavor dressed meat was in fact tongue. You read my right, tongue. Cow tongue to be specific. I just French kissed a cow. I suppose it had to happen one day. My reaction? "Oh so those bumps are taste buds, wonder if the denser cluster is better?" It was. The edge of the tongue, or the denser cluster of taste buds, was by far the best part. I didn't hate it, in fact I really liked the flavor. It was the texture that did it. Also the pale faces of my friends put my appetite off a bit. Try new things, I did. Now all that's left of the list of odd meats is Rocky Mountain Oysters. Random, my dorm insurance deal is finally sealed. Go me!

November 5th


I am so behind in blogs. Damnit! I am sorry but I was not able to take Rikki, my laptop, with me over break. Thus I couldn't write any blogs. Which means that I became behind in my work. As a result, they are going to be late, possibly very late. And I am sorry. Audience please accept this apology! I am truly sorry. For once I am not just sorry but am truly sorry. If it makes you feel any better, on this Monday my fingers are bleeding from all the blogs that I am writing. Literally I think that they are going to fall off from over use! Well, besides blogs it was a boring day. Darn, I have those. The only interesting was buying some laundry tokens. Another thing that I neglected for far too long was my laundry pile. Once you run out of socks and underwear it becomes an issue. The reason that the chore of laundry was delayed for so long is because it is such a pain in the ass to do laundry at St. Nicolas! The basic process is buy some "jetons" or tokens from Crous which is located near the university, but was closed over break. Then use the one washing machine that the dorm has. Seems simple, because it is, but don't be too deceived. There are two issues at hand here, two obstacles that I don't want to face. The first is the cost of a jeton. They price on these miniscule coins is 1.40 euros. That translates in being about a dollar eighty. One dollar and eighty cents for a small load, the machine isn't very big, of laundry. Crous, not cool! The second issue that I have is the fact that there is only one machine in the entire dorm. This makes finding a timeslot to do laundry a problem. My solution, two in the morning. It works but is a pain in the ass. I don't know why buying the laundry tokens was interesting, perhaps because of all the annoyance it caused me. So it really was only interesting to me because I am now at 2:13 a.m. doing my laundry in St. Nicolas. Who needs sleep right? Oh yeah humans like me.

November 4th


-Sing this to Drunken Sailor-

            (Refrain)
            Oh, what do you do when break is over?
            What do you do when break is over?
            What do you do when break is over?
            Absolutely nothing.

            Way hay, up she rises,
            Way hay, up she rises,
            Later in the morning.
            (Refrain)

            Pain au chocolat and monster,
            Pain au chocolat and monster,
            Eating at les docks and doing,
            Absolutely nothing.

           - Refrain-

            Youtube vids of Zelda gameplay,
            Youtube vids of Zelda gameplay,
            Can't play Zelda thus Mary does,
            Absolutely nothing.

            -Refrain-

            Probably should read some Jane Eyre,
            Probably should read some Jane Eyre,
            But Spark Notes allow me to do,
            Absolutely nothing.

            That's what you do when break is over
            That's what you do when break is over
            That's what you do when break is over
            Absolutely nothing.

November 3rd


Colds suck. Viruses have that affect unfortunately. This time it wasn't me who was sick; it was Kate. She woke up with a sore throat, a headache, and swollen glands. Thus I sent her home early. I felt bad since I wanted her to meet Caitlin, but Kate's health and comfort was more important. She did me a huge favor though, she took my backpack with her. That was such a saving grace for me because my back had had enough of that freshman pack. Once she boarded the train, I sat down for a minute. I had a few hours to do whatever I wanted. So what did I do? Any guesses audience? Well they probably were all wrong. The right answer was visit the Luxemburg Gardens. Hey I was jipped on that last night, sunset my ass, so I need some redemption. They were lovely too. I walked throughout several of the paths and sat down on various benches as well. I don't know what it is about gardens, but they always make my imagination spark. This time I pictured myself as a princess. Ahem! I would appreciate no laughter from the back row. As I was saying, I pictured myself as a princess sitting in the gardens of her palace on a crisp autumn day with only the sound of the wind as my company. Suddenly, I hear horse hooves approaching and look up to see a soldier clad in blue mail. He is seriously wounded and falls from his horse before me. I ask what happened but he is only able to tell me the words "run princess" before dying. My ears catch the sound of a battle horn that's close, too close. I mount the horse and ride to the end of my gardens. There at their gates is a vast forest, dense with the unknown. I look back at my palace once more, a pain in my heart. The cry of the battle horn recalls my attention and I gallop into the woods. It isn't long before the noise of the horn vanishes along with the rest of the outside world. I find myself lost among trees, hundreds of identical trees. I slip from my horse's saddle and collapse on the green earth. My lungs become filled with the pollen of the forest as I close my eyes. And that's how I died in the woods as a princess. I love my imagination. After that scenario it was time to meet with Caitlin which proved more difficult than I realized. After many texts, and many metro trips, I finally arrived at the set meeting point, the Eiffel Tower. Once there I situated myself in an obvious spot; near the West Tower by a bunch of plastic bears. Yes, there were plastic bears lining the grass area by the Eiffel Tower. Why? I have no clue. But, they made a good landmark because low and behold Caitlin appeared! That was a victorious moment. We haven't seen each other since high school, my sophomore year to be exact, which made the reunion even more important. She was with a friend of hers from Germany, another American in fact. The three of us decided to grab some lunch and catch over pizza. Good choice. I found out that she has been working many different kinds of jobs in Germany from cafeteria lady to nanny. Crazy really. After lunch we participated in some Eiffel Tower pictures, they are always mandatory. I snagged a banana chocolate crepe before the goodbye hugs. I hope/am planning to see her next semester during one of my breaks. I should be able to make it out to Germany, only a few trains away after all. Still, that goodbye was really hard for me. Caitlin was part of my life from Chicago and to say goodbye to her was almost like saying goodbye to home again. My train back to Le Havre was quiet, thank goodness for that. I arrived safely and soundly all in one piece. My fall break vacation/adventure was over. Damn, it was a good time.

November 2nd


Oh the weather outside is frightful. Meh rain is rain, such is Paris. Blue Planet wasn't any better in the morning, in fact it was once again worse. My poor little cellphone was on the brink of death, and since the modern world only needs one outlet per room above a random bed on the wall according to the dipshit brothers that run Blue Planet, I wasn't able to charge it during the night. I forgot the charger in my backpack, and after a huge breakfast at a nearby cafe, that is very delicious, I returned to Blue Planet and asked for my room key. The response I received was irritating. The man, though he's much more comparable to a worm, looked at me and said, "Could you turn around and read?" I did because 60% of the time I'm an idiot who falls for crap like that. Behind me was a small sign that stated the rooms were closed from 11 am - 3 pm for cleaning. Wow what bullshit and what attitude. I spun around and gave him my famous "I can and may kill you" face. He seemed less cheeky. My response, "I just need my cellphone charger from my backpack. I think that's reasonable." He sighed and asked for my room number. When I told him, he said that the key had never been returned. What a croque. I then reminded him that there were two other girls in that room and that it might be possible that one of them has the other key. After this he looked at me, looked at the cameras, sighed, and looked back at me only to say, "the room is being cleaned, be quick." No problem sir, I enjoyed making certain hand signs at the various security cameras. By the way, these guys are somewhat perverted with the amount of cameras they have scattered all over the place. Maybe if they spent more funding on hygiene rather than creeping on their guests, they'd have a better business. Also just because you're family owned doesn't mean you're friendly; two Parisian bastards equals poor environment. By the way audience, I plan to verbally destroy them on the review, and I mean destroy. They messed with the wrong English major. Yeah, yeah I know, doesn't seem like a lot but words can hurt. Especially when it's a review that’s posted on the key website where you receive all of your business. Back to Paris, so I did successfully grab my phone charger from the room. Kate and I left right after, no use sticking around that rat's nest, to the Champs d'Elysée for some window shopping. It was pretty awesome, sides the weather. As I said earlier it was raining, normally this isn't a problem except that Kate and I didn't have any umbrellas with us. Oops, again travel space issues. We hopped from store to store, that worked rather well, and ended up in Starbucks with some Mark's and Spencer's blueberry muffins. Why Starbucks? Pumpkin spiced coffee of course! Now in the States I can't stand Starbucks for two reasons; price and queue. But, the rest  of the world sadly does not have Dunkin Donuts, I miss you DnD I really do. After our lovely luncheon along the Champs d'Elycée Kate and I hopped a few metros to meet Paula! What was Paula doing in Paris? Well Paris is kind of Paula's "thing" her dojo almost. In this city she feels happy and at peace, almost a vacation from the troubles in Le Havre. Ha, well she was there to meet us for dinner since we were going to dine with a special guest. However, that's a few hours in the future. At the moment we decided to explore the theatrical area of Odéons. What a neighborhood. I have never seen so many bookstores in once place before! Also it had very quizzical, yes quizzical, costume shops. They weren't to Kate's liking since they were composed of masquerade masks. They had the really creepy ones with the hooked noses, something out of the Thief Lord. Anyhow we went there to go to the Luxemburg Gardens, but the gates were locked. Apparently they close at sunset, rats. We decided to explore the area a bit more before leaving for Place D'Opera. Why there? Why not! It was another place to explore, though unfortunately we only had about twenty minutes there since we had to make a dinner appointment. Funny thing about that, we were to meet him at Gare de Lyon which we did but it wasn't Kate who found him. She was searching for him everywhere too. Heh, I was the one who flagged dear Jonathan down. It isn't had to spot a suit in that area of Paris. We all we happy to see one another, after all it had been over a month since our last encounter. He even brought a few gifts, how charming. Mine was well suited I might add, Canadian maple syrup. Anyhow after the gush of greetings we waltzed on over to a restaurant, in fact the very restaurant we had eaten in the last time. There commenced conversation, what a surprise between college students. Although, Jonathan did do me a favor. Since I am an adult-child, there are certain aspects of my personality that relate to elementary behavior, hence the child part. Basically I am very amused by magic tricks, especially playing card magic tricks. He performed one for me and like a child I started to giggle in amazement. It was only later upon reflection did I realize that reaction was embarrassing for my age. Oh well, still an adult-child. Sadly Paula had to leave early since she needed to return to Le Havre. We all wished her well before she hopped onto the final train. Afterwards Kate, Jonathan, and I enjoyed a few drinks at a local pub before calling it a night. Ever the gentlemen Jonathan escorted Kate and me to Blue Planet, ensuring our safe return. Though with Blue Planet, I'm not so certain that safety is always guaranteed. Cleanliness definitely isn't! Still, it was a long frustrating but fascinating and in the end enjoyable day. Let's hope tomorrow is less radical.

November 1st


Happy morning, though not really. I was so sad to be leaving Cool and Bed and all my new friends in Lyon. Seriously what an amazing city. Sigh, I'm glad that the morning was amazing too, because later on, well you'll find out. For now the morning/afternoon was when Kate and I had lunch with Oliver and his parents. First off, they are two of the most charming people that I have ever met. Yes I am gushing, but that's fine I reason to. His mother made a fantastic meal that consisted of roasted potatoes, steak, salad, gravy, and fresh bread. Drool, so delicious. Kate and I were urged to eat our fill, I believe we did rather well. Dessert was little pastry cakes with fancy decorations. Heh, I'm polite when I'm a guest, especially a guest at the home of the parents of the boy that I hosted years ago. I ate the cake. Later on it turned out to be a lie, but I dealt the aftermath. At the time I was a happy girl enjoying a meal with kind people. A meal that was in French by the way. Oliver's parents don't speak English, thus Kate and I had to speak in French. Again, we didn't do that poorly. It was a relaxing meal with conversation and good eats, besides the cakes. It ended with Oliver escorting us to the metro, after he called me a turtle, and exchanging some hugs. That was a nice morning. Why did the nice stop there? Three bad things happened after Oliver left, and none of them involved cake. First, Kate's boots broke. Her only pair of waterproof boots broke in a shoe store. Ironic, yes. Good, no. Fortunately she bought some shoes that were on sale, but it wasn't a step in the right direction. Pun. Second, our train broke. In the middle of France our supposedly very fast TGV train that was due to arrive in Paris at 8:10 pm, stopped. We later learned that some people had stolen copper cogs from the tracks and that it bumped the train out of alignment. Thanks guys, you stole a cheap metal with consequences that could have killed us! Good thing Death is on my Christmas list, though I seem to have lost Karma's address. Hmmm that might explain why were stuck on the train for seven hours without food. We did eat some snacks in the Lyon station beforehand, but nothing that hardy. We thought that we'd be in Paris around eight, thus we didn't plan on eating a huge meal before the train. I wish that we had. The other passengers seemed to have a jolly ole time smoking in the various cars. It was like a mushroom cloud decided to squirm its way in, just grey smoke everywhere. There were two announcements asking people to stop smoking. Psh like an order from the train conductor matters. Well after six hours we finally started moving and make it into Paris at 1:30 am. Seven hours on a broken down train with no food. Third thing, our hostel. Remember Blue Planet from the original trip to Paris back in September? Well that's where we stayed. Guess what was ten times worse this time around. If your answer was bacon than no you're just hungry, it was Blue Planet! And damnit did it suck. Not only were the guys bigger jackasses this time, they had no sympathy for our situation. We were stuck in a dusty room on the 5th floor with a door that didn't lock. Screw it, I'm too tired to care. Sleep, now. Saddest thing, this mattress is comfier than the one in my dorm.

October 31st


Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, obviously, since it suits me so well. Everyone dresses in costumes that often reflect something about them, parties are held, and chaos occurs. Plus it all happens after the sun goes down; what's not to love? Despite not being in the States, I still celebrated Halloween. No one, not even France can keep me from "All Hallows Eve", just not possible. This Halloween was definitely different, almost in all good ways. First difference was my costume, more so lack thereof. Since I was travelling with just a backpack I couldn't afford to pack a proper Halloween getup, so instead I brought a masquerade mask. It sufficed rather nicely. In fact, in Lyon at H&M Kate and Briana bought some masks since they didn't have any costumes. One and a half difference is that I witnessed a somewhat scarring event. The morning was spent exploring a little more of Lyon, Briana and Kate picked up their Halloween masks, and wandering around. It was exhausting to say the least. I ended up splurging on a delicious quiche and chocolate beignet for lunch. The pictures of me eating the beignet are not flattering, but meh some parts of life aren't. Afterwards when we returned to Cool and Blue, I decided to lounge in the common room until it was time to meet Oliver at the metro station. I went online a little bit, but mostly just closed my eyes and relaxed. Unfortunately a new couple checked into the hostel. Normally this is not unfortunate and has nothing to do with me, but this time was strange. Not at first though, they checked in and whatever, I wasn't really paying attention to them. After about twenty minutes I stood up and left for my room, a large shared space of sixteen beds, to retrieve my I-pod. Wasn't I pleasantly surprised to walk in on the couple "cuddling" in the lower bunk set right by mine separated only by a small cabinet. Super. At first I thought the boy was just going to sleep, but then I realized he was frozen in place. The penny dropped even before the piece, the girl, whispered, "I think someone's there." No crap honey, you're staying in a youth hostel in the biggest room no less. Of course people are going to go in the room, it's a shared space! In the end I returned to the common room without my I-pod. Andrew asked what was wrong and I hashed out all the details for him. He actually became mad and even said, "why can't those [considerate people] get a damn hotel room! Honestly the 16?" I snickered at this and responded with a, such is life. Although it was immensely awkward, I did enjoy everyone else's reactions of the story. The second difference was that I spent a good chunk of the evening with my friend Oliver. Does anyone remember Oliver from freshman year of high school? I do! Back then, in the politest of terms, we were not that compatible. He actually spent more time hanging out with Pete than he did me. But that's normal between a fifteen year old girl and a sixteen year old boy who both have giant egos. Hey, least I admit it. Anyways, when Oliver and I saw each other at the metro station it was as if I were seeing a long lost brother after years of separation. I greeted him with a, "Salut" and a decent hug. I also hugged his girlfriend, she seemed a little uncomfortable but whatever, before we decided on what we were going to do. His girlfriend did have to go home, school night or something, so it was just me and Oliver for the early evening. The first thing we did was go to the top of Lyon and it was amazing. The sight of the city lit up at night was stunning, actually it reminded me of Chicago. The Lyon skyline is something to behold though, with its two rivers and steep geography the splendor is unreal. Enough gushing, afterwards we hit Vieux Lyon, Old Town essentially, for some food. My stomach was thrilled with what I ended up eating. I had a starter salad, the daily catch, aka fish, potatoes, and rum cake for dessert. Plus a bottle of good red wine. Oliver allowed me to sample his plate, he actually insisted on it, which was also delicious. He had a cut of meat, that was fully cooked, with some pretty tasty fries at the side. The following activity was bar hopping. Oliver and I only ended up hitting two bars, I had a half pint at each, before taking the metro to Cool and Bed. There I found all of my friends, minus Andrew, completely smashed. This was going to be an interesting night. Sadly Oliver couldn't stay long, he had work in the morning, but he was still able to meet all of my new friends and Kate. Oh Kitty Kate, she was wearing a cat mask, you were adorable all night long. When Oliver left the rest of us attempted to go to "Life", a popular bar in Lyon, but failed miserably. However, we were applauded for our wonderful singing voices. My Canadian friends had earlier in the day taught the rest of us a short refrain from an annoying Quebec Halloween song called, "C'est l'Halloween." Basically we all were clapping and singing it in the metro cars. The other passengers gave us a booming round of applause as we gracefully left the car. Once outside we tried to find Life, didn't work. Word of advice, never take directions from jail bait German girls that don't speak French or English well. In fact, the German teenagers ended up ditching the rest of us, great. So a bunch of college age adult-children found their way back the quai, dock, that their hostel was on without too much trouble. There was a bar on that quai, they went inside and enjoyed some frothy beer. Then three of the adult-children, a Canadian of Nova Scotia, a Britain of Scotland, and an American/Canadian from Chicago, left the bar together to make the all-important walk home together. The American/Canadian zoomed ahead though, she really wanted some water, and was let into the hostel by Matthew. Once there some water was drunk, some ice cream devoured, and then some sleep taken. A different Halloween, but definitely an awesome one. Tomorrow morning, the last day in Lyon, is going to be a struggle. Kate and I have to be happy because we're having lunch with Oliver's family. Oh boy. Halloween was worth it though. Night audience.

October 30th


I'm always the late one. Today I skipped breakfast due to the fact that I overslept and was slow at becoming ready for the day. Damnit. Kate was none too pleased about this, she's pretty punctual, and the most I could do for being about eight minutes behind schedule was to not allow myself the included breakfast. Good thing I like pain au chocolat so much, every bakery has them even ones in indoor French markets. Finding our way there was a lot of fun. By a lot of fun, I mean a pain in the ass. By a pain in the ass, I mean I was the navigator. Damn again. The route to the market required the metro, the tram, and the bus. We were really using the Lyon public transport system, which I must say is very good. Once we were at the indoor market, everything was fine. It was such a simple but clever concept. All of us seemed to enjoy the market, they literally had everything there from a fresh produce area to skinned rabbits with the heads still attached. France, I just don't understand the concept of eating a cute harmless little creature like a bunny. Sure it's meat, so are dogs, cats, and people. Doesn't mean I'd eat them! Ahem, I needed to express that discomfort, now back to the market. Everyone nabbed some produce, I grabbed an apple and some blackberries, and a few of us even bought some baguettes to share. Before we left we all had a little coffee just to wake us up, only a smidge. It was so strange for me to be eating with a random group of kids that I had just met, and yet it wasn't weird at all. It was as if we had been friends for months, even though in reality it had only been a few hours. After all of us had finished our coffee, we set out for the park. Now this park was special for within its tall gates there was a free zoo where wild deer and emus were held in captivity. Ok so the zoo wasn't that great, still the animals were cute. The five of us sat on a bench and ate our market goodies in the crisp sunshine. Autumn is a beautiful season; the cool air, the taste of winter, and the colors of leaves all make it stunning. Afterwards we decided to explore the older areas of Lyon where the fabled alley ways, traboules, were located. We found a few, and some sweet graffiti walls along the way of our aimless route. In the end we returned to the hostel exhausted from exploring the city, but not too tired to make dinner. Everyone pitched in and some delicious spaghetti was served. Spaghetti isn't my favorite, but ever since I've been in France I've discovered that I actually like a lot of American food that I hated before. For instance orange juice, it used to always be too acidic for me but now it's my bread and butter at breakfast. That's another thing, breakfast, I actually eat it. Due to my night owl lifestyle I often eat very late and skip breakfast in the morning for two reasons; first off I'm not hungry if I've had a bowl of oatmeal at two in the morning, and second eating before nine AM tends to make my stomach turn upside down. But in France, when you never know what your next meal will be, breakfast is necessary to make it through the day. When I return home I have a feeling that I will be more American than when I left. Funny how it takes another culture and menu to show one that.

October 29th


Mornings. Oh mornings. They should never start out dark, ever. That just throws me off my day without any chance whatsoever. At least I woke up and rolled out. It was not easy. You'd think after all the trips I've taken and all the drives to Canada I would be a master at handling early morning travel. Just like jetlag it kicks me in the ass every time. Fortunately Kate is not a morning person, at least not an annoying one. She was quiet, we both were. Thank goodness for that, because on the train I passed-out on command. Simon and Garfunkel, I thank you once more for "The Boxer"; Its soothing lyrics always enable me to drift into a wonderful sleep that is both light and refreshing. Once in Paris we immediately left for the Bercy train station. Oh yeah, our train to Lyon was not leaving from St. Lazare, that would've been convenient. I did pick up a ScifiNow magazine, awesome read by the way, just in case I need some reading material besides "On the Road." The Lyon train was fine, five hours long, but without much trouble. We did have to switch trains for an unknown reason half way, I'm assuming something was wrong with the first little engine, but that was the only burden. Once in Lyon we hopped metro to our hostel Cool and Bed. What can I say about Cool and Bed, what word describes it? Haven. It was the best hostel in which I have ever stayed, just fantastic. The owners were two young men by the names of Matthew and Pierre. Besides keeping a clean, spacious, friendly, accommodating hostel, they also assisted us with Lyon. Pierre marked, on a free map of Lyon, all the areas to visit or consider seeing. So sweet. Kate and I were definitely in for a good vacation, especially since it wasn't just Kate and me. We made friends. The first to join us was a former "au pair" named Briana from Nova Scotia Canada. She is a sweetheart. I could prattle on about how friendly she is and how much fun she was, but instead I am just going to quote her. Every time she didn't understand something you said or needed clarification, she would say, "pardon me?" It was adorable, no joke. That first night the three of us went to Vieux Lyon for both some exploring points and dinner. We found Place de Baleine, Whale Place, and wandered from there. Eventually we came across a small restaurant called Le Petit Glutton. Its mascot was a pig. I had some salad and a blueberry crepe; both kicked ass. Briana and Kate had a sausage dish that came with an entree and a dessert. Sausage doesn't bode well for me, so I figured a leafy salad would suffice. The conversation was the best part though. Briana told us all about her living in Nice as a French "au pair", essentially a nanny, for two months before deciding that it wasn't for her and that she'd rather travel around Europe until Christmas. After we all had our fill of being little gluttons, we returned to Cool and Bed to make even more friends. There we met a whole slew of people from all over. But, I'm just going to list the ones who mattered. Ahem, there was Andrew a Canadian who was working in Lyon and had been staying at the hostel for five months since it was cheaper than living alone in an apartment. Matthew, another Canadian who was simply travelling around France as a means of living his life. He was a bit mysterious. Last there was Dave the Australian who was on vacation from “au pair-ing” around France. All of us, apart from Andrew who had to work the next morning, decided that we would go to an indoor market that Pierre had suggested and have a picnic at a local park the next day. First night and I've already made some plans with some new friends. Life does just move. 

October 28th


Dawn of the final day, twenty four hours remain. Better mosey on over to the Ikana canyon before time runs out. I couldn't resist a Zelda joke/reference, ah I am so proud of myself for that. Don't give me that look audience. I've been deprived of a Zelda console video game for about two months, a lifelong record, and am starting to crack at the seams of sanity. Besides that, today wasn't too stressful, everything on the list was completed; throw away spoil sensitive food, lay out clothes for tomorrow, double check that all necessities are packed, charge i-pod, and have tickets ready to go. It was going to sleep that was stressful. Kate and I finished everything around ten, we made sure that we both were ready, but going to sleep that early was challenging. Normally I go to bed around two-three in the morning. This is a big reason as to why I hate mornings so much, I tend to be unprepared for them. Although this sleep pattern is my fault, it's not my fault. I am a night owl, that's when I work best. Warm sunny days only aggravate my working mood whereas cool silent nights with somber skies give me the peace of mind to concentrate. When else do I write my blogs? So really it's not so much my personal fault as it is the fault of my nature. Ah, logic. Anyways the point is I had trouble sleeping at a time when it was essential to sleep. Our train for Paris leaves tomorrow morning at five thirty. We need to be at the station no later than five fifteen in order to grab good seats and assure our luggage space aboard the train. Since it takes about fifteen-twenty minutes, weather depending, to walk to the Le Havre station, I have to be ready to go at four fifty in the morning. Actually the time Kate and I set is four forty-five, better safe than sorry. Tack on the fact that I am a girl with hygiene I have the minimal morning schedule of floss then brush teeth, comb hair, apply travel make-up, slap on some perfume, and moisturize hands all before I leave house. Great. The time I have to wake-up and leave my bed is the charming four o'clock in the morning. Grrrr. Audience, no crap about the time factor. I'm slow in the mornings, always will be, and becoming ready for the day takes time. A few minutes here, a few there add up quickly. And is completely mandatory. Well, less than six hours until Crazy Loop starts playing from my PC. Let's all hope that the four giants come, otherwise "hello moon!"*

*I apologize to all those who have not played Majora's Mask; you should.

October 27th


"Mom my laundry, help!" -Jenna Marbles

Unfortunately my mother is a few thousand miles away from my pile of dirty laundry, thus I have to do it all myself. Damn, I hate being an adult-child! Especially an adult-child without laundry tokens for her dorm's washing machines. Sink time! One good perk to washing your laundry by hand in your kitchen sink is that your arms endure a decent workout. All the kneading and wringing really do the triceps justice. After scrubbing shirts and jeans for what seemed like hours, hey wait it was hours, I left my little room for some Docks down time. Apparently my down time is practicing my typing speed skills. Saturday afternoons in France are often spent online chatting with friends from back home. Due to the seven hour time difference weekends are ideal for catching up since agendas are relatively free. The only issue is that I often chat with five or more people at once. Of course this is all optional; I could just tell everyone to shut-it or just not log onto to facebook, but somehow neither of those options ever happen. Huh, strange how that works. After the facebook chat overload, Kate I and returned to the dorm for some actual relaxation. Hey, responding to five different conversations simultaneously is stressful on the brain. Back at St. Nicolas residence hall we enjoyed some pomelo slices. Kate loves this fruit, I've never had it before, and offered to share some with me. I have to say it was delicious. The flesh is citrus styled but it isn't exactly tart. We munched on that while I put the finishing touches on my Halloween mask. This year for the jack-o’-lantern holiday my costume is simply a masquerade mask. I would love to dress in actual costume garm but cannot for two reasons; first France doesn't celebrate Halloween State style, and second I have limited travel space in my freshman backpack. I think the mask will go over well; it's classic but not flashy. Well I'm going to grab some early snooze hours tonight and finish packing tomorrow. Later audience!

October 26th


Power walking, it's the hip new way to exercise. You can do it anywhere; in a park, along a shore, or even when you're late to class and can't run due to the weight of your backpack. Yeah, I was a sight going to class, just plowing down the sidewalk with my freshman backpack desperate to make it to class on time. I know, people in France are always late, especially students, so I shouldn't worry about being late to class. Wrong! My homeland injected me with the famous American paranoia of being tardy that prevents me from ever feeling relaxed when I am going to be late for an appointment in my day. Good thing I wasn't late. Actually I made it to campus in twelve minutes rather than the normal twenty-three. I was tired, especially after running up three flights of stairs, but I was in my seat before class began. Score for Mary. Class was interesting today too; we discussed Aunt Jamima. Yes, in American culture class the topic of the day was corn syrup based maple syrup. Oh Lourez! In reality we were analyzing old print ads about Aunt Jamima and other southern characters that are featured in a painting besides Washington sailing on the Delaware. Ah classic cultural racism. Smells like history. My other class was simply lecture, though I proudly turned in my essay to my professor. She seemed pleased that I had actually done the assignment. Let's wait for after break to see my grade, probably will be a smiley face with a "you tried" written next to it. Don't give me that look audience, I did actually give it my all on this one. The thing is it is impossible, and will forever be, for me to write as comfortably in French as I do in English. My paper had the ideas and concepts of a college level essay with high school freshman grammar skills. Anyways, after class, and a much needed victory dance for break, Kate and I retired to the dorm to watch a rented DVD from the public library. Does anyone have a guess as to which film? Well you're wrong, it was Jamaica Inn by Alfred Hitchcock. Not his best film, definitely not. It was old and lacking a strong budget, but not completely terrible. I was thoroughly entertained, particularly whenever Sir Humphrey called for his servant, "Chaaaaaaaadwick." Good times. The best part of the movie had to have been the subtitles though. Since it was old, and not famous, the Jamaica Inn was not dubbed into French for the Francophone viewers. Rather, it had subtitles. Sounds normal right? Not exactly. At random spurts of the movie the subtitles would just disappear, while dialogue continued between characters and remain this way for a few scenes. Huh. I suspect that the translators where native French speakers and simply could not understand many of the lines spoken during the film. Logical solution is not to ask a native English speaker but instead to stop writing subtitles until they can distinguish what is being said. Again, huh. It was funny for me, but those poor little French orphans who desperately wanted to watch Jamaica Inn can now never understand the full film because some translators decided to be lazy with their job! So shameful. I would translate it for those little orphans, but alas I am but a lowly college student. They'll understand. 

October 25th

Time to switch it up audience. Today's blog is in short poem form. On occasion I am bitten by the poetry bug so bear with me. I will explain what I am talking about in a short paragraph at the end of the poem. Try to enjoy.


My fingers are riddled in times new roman ink
All these French words nouns and verbs make my stomach sink
Why did it happen, how can this possibly be?
The cogs of the clock turned too quickly for me.

Here I write in stress with thoughts free from chains unbound
A pen in mouth paired with keyboard clicking sound
With thesis direction and many pages more
The analysis flows of the Arthurian lore.

Lancelot and Gwen their secret love has bloomed
Though the tale is fine Camelot is doomed
The knight of the cart is heroic in love and woo
But strong loyalty to the Queen makes him untrue.

Despite your weakness Lancelot the said fair knight
I wrote of your growth through quests struggle and fight
Becoming a man of the blade with a strong heart
Fearing nothing not even disgrace of the cart.

I digress and continue my battle with Word
Even with strain the finish line is assured.
For only revision does remain to adhere
Tonight some fun at the house of Magic Mirror.

Ok so the basic gist is the process I endured while writing a French essay about how Lancelot, yes that Lancelot, becomes a true knight through various challenges while trying to save Guinevere, Gwen for short. Magic Mirrors, I chopped of the "s" for rhyming purposes, is a dance hall that was hosting a party for the international students of Le Havre that night. Thus the poem ends with me leaving for Magic Mirrors after finishing my essay. Tis all audience.

October 24th


Universe, stop trying to kill me with surprises! Damn contrôle (quiz) nearly murdered me. Pop quizzes suck, but they really suck when they are not in your native tongue and are on medieval history terms. Damn. When Elina, Paula, and I saw the little slips of paper in front of us, our faces simultaneously went pale. Our teacher noticed this and told us, with sympathy, to "just try our best." Uh huh, ok prof. I did try my best, and actually I knew more than I thought I did. Still though, why universe why? Can't I have one week without bricks falling down? Lunch was better. Kate genuinely enjoys most of her classes, probably since she's done many similar ones back in Scotland, and also likes her classmates. I'm not too fond of the crowd that shares many of my classes, they are, in polite terms, not hygienic. Besides the sweet woman who helps me in Arthurian Literature, she clearly showers daily. The point of this is that Kate has made friends in her classes, including a new one name Edward. No his last name is not Cullen, thank goodness for that. He is a shortish blond with a really big grin that makes Kate giggle all the time. He's also fun for the rest of us to talk with especially on strange topics. Today's off-topic was slang terms for other nationalities. Ah, one of my favorites. I did learn some things too. Apparently the French, least in Le Havre, don't have any creative or distinct terms for Americans. They often just tack on an adjective, such as stupid or fat, in front of the word American. They need to kick it up notch. Frenchie is typical of the United States and me, but my personal preference is to simply put my arms in the air and say, "we surrender!" Love you France, jk though not at all. The fat promiscuous arrogant stupid ignorant yankee will stand by that one. It was a humorous conversation to say the least. Kate really dislikes a term the French use for the British, and according to Edward it isn't necessarily an insult. The French call the British "roast beef", I have no idea why, and Kate hates it. I mean I wouldn't mind being called "hamburger", it's a delicious food along with roast beef. Maybe it's similar to Brit, another word Kate isn't fond of, which is not an insult but merely an abbreviation of the word British. Whatever I suppose, though I would like it if the French adopted "Hamburger" for Americans, particularly barbecue western bacon burger. Drool.

October 23rd


Alright audience, let's see if you've been paying attention to those whom I have mentioned in my blogs. Remember Antoine? Probably not since I often refer to him in the nickname "Toine" since it's shorter. Yes, I am lazy with keyboards. Well, to dissolve any previous ideas about that I may have unintentionally planted into your brains, he is not a stalker. In fact, he's actually a decent friend of mine here. True that he shows up when I want to be left alone, but also true that he studies the liberal arts at my university. Plus I often like to be left alone. Now that the image of Antoine creeping on me is gone, I can began to discuss today. I'm not starting with class because comparative literature was boring as hell today. Let's just skip to lunch for two reasons; a, lunch is usually interesting, and b, lunch was different this time making it more interesting. On this Tuesday around noon, I had lunch with Antoine. Aw how sweet. Yeah can it bud. It was fun, even though I mostly spoke in Franglish, and he was very patient with me. I did blather about Chicago, but hey any native would, but also spoke about regular college topics such as classes, projects, and the upcoming fall break. It was a grand ole time. Afterwards we drifted to library where I stuffed my nose into "On the Road" for some much needed research. Toine was a bit curious about the book, it does have a fantastic cover, and I allowed him to read the back summary. He gave a surprised expression upon reading, "search for release or fulfillment through drink, sex, drugs, and jazz," and asked why I was reading it. I told him that it was for research. The universal, "uh huh you're crazy" nod was given my way. I guess French girls only read dime store romance novels or Betty Crocker cook books. I know that the father of Beatniks was not a moral icon by any means, but gimme a break Toine. "On the Road" is way better literature, for instance the term literature actually suits it, rather than other crap like "Fifty Shades of Grey." He might have looked less surprised had I been reading that monstrosity. I only accomplished three chapters, bummer, since I felt it was rude to read in front of someone, even though I was in a library. I asked him if he had even travelled out of France. He told me that he had, color me impressed. That sounds strange, but like crossing State territories, leaving France is a big step for the natives. I travel a lot, have ever since I was born, so I cannot fully understand those who rarely or never travel. I know the whole cost excuse, but a camping trip to Turkey Run in Indiana is by no means a stay in the Isle of Wight. Thus Toine's voyages were something to be noted. He has been to the States. Not my state, rather he went to the Big Apple. At least New York City is something, though to all those wanting to go to the States, the Windy City has better pizza and festivals. Taste anyone? Besides NYC, Toine had visited other areas of the world; more specifically he has gone to places that I've never heard of. Oops. He could not believe that I didn't know where some small Eastern Euro countries were. I admitted that geography outside of the Americas, I have your back S.A., was basically unknown to me. Heh, ignorant, and proudly arrogant, American. Since I love to debate and argue, I asked him if he knew all fifty states. He said no. I told him that he couldn't give me any crap. He shook his head. I then made a deal with him, if he learns all fifty states, not capital because who honestly cares, then I would learn European geography. He said easy. I then tacked on that he must pronounce each state correctly. He didn't agree to that stake. I then mulled it over and took away the pronunciation aspect. I had to, there is no way he could ever say "New Hampshire" or "Arkansas". Yes, Arkansas is challenge for everyone outside the U.S. because it looks phonetically like "are-Kanas". So instead the ending sounding like "saw" it sounds like "us". Brilliant. (Not) Sorry guys, but the internet has interactive maps of the States that pronounce each state name. I'd love to eradicate "Mary Land" and "Illinoise" from the world. Moving on, Toine left shortly after for class and I had some time on my hands before I left to tutor the little Frenchlings. Well, for about eight seconds I had time. Jessy decided to appear from nowhere and asked me how lunch had been with Toine. I looked at Jessy as though he were on crack. What the hell was he doing here and why did he care? I soon found out that he and Kate had been watching me from above, the third floor to be exact, exchanging giggles and whatnot. My oh my. I was then dragged upstairs and instructed to dish all the details to Jessy. Oh Jessy, it's now time for your character profile. Jessy is a flaming French student who shares a translation course with Kate and has since befriend Paula and me. He is hilarious and much needed. Paula and I, both American college girls, have a certain necessity for male gay friends. I have no idea why it is embedded into our beings, but we love them. Thus, Jessy is a welcome adversary my growing collection of friends. After conversing with him for about an hour, I left to walk to the Racadot residence. This session was a lot of fun because it was all about Halloween vocabulary. Hell yeah, score for one of Mary's top three holidays! Louis actually knew quite a few words, but I taught him the famous "Trick or Treat" and "Jack o' lantern" lines. I then helped Anne with her speech, including having her recite it to me, before taking my leave. It was a long day, but definitely not a bad one.